“There’s one thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the goddamn vampires.” So spaketh Sam and Michael’s grandpa at the end of Joel Schumacher’s Saturday night classic, The Lost Boys. From the opening sequence, set against a fantastic Bauhaus song, to the explosively blood-filled finale, Schumacher’s finest piece of pulp trash is just as good now as it was then. Before you judge me, imagine a friend, someone you trust, holding out two movies. In one hand, an existential and heady foreign film starring a true master of the acting craft, maybe it’s even on a few of those greatest films of all time lists. In the other hand, you read the cover of a red case peopled with a group of kids all at the heights of their 80’s majesty. You read the tag line, “Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never Die. It’s fun to be a vampire.” and suddenly an image flashes in your mind of an absurdly muscled, strangely oiled saxophone player shaking his hips obscenely (that image is branded on my memory for all eternity). The decision has been made already. You know what you have to see. It’s Lost Boys, no question. Now that I’ve calmed down, let’s explore the plot. Single mom Dianne Wiest packs up Sam and Michael (Corey Haim, Jason Patric) and heads to live with her dad in Santa Carla, a crazy carnival of a town known for its high murder and missing children rates. Michael falls in with the wrong crowd, a crowd of vampires lead by the creepiest of creepsters, Kiefer Sutherland! It’s now up to Sam and the Frog Brothers (a solid Cory Feldman and Jamison Newlander) to hunt down all blood suckers so that Michael can rejoin the land of the living. Such family loyalty, it’s like a Rockwell painting.
You know you want to watch: