I would shit twice and die if anyone ever spoke a harsh word about the John Hughes classic, Sixteen Candles. Hughes sweetheart Molly Ringwald plays Samantha Baker, who wakes up on her sixteenth birthday to find that her entire family forgot! OMG! And after she fills out a sex test that gets lost during class, Samantha heads to the school dance with exchange student Long Duk Dong (cue gong) to add yet another helping of humiliation to her day. Anthony Michael Hall, another Hughes regular, is totally major as Ted, King of the Dipshits, whose staggering confidence is exhibit A in the case to locate the source of the genius of Christopher Mintz-Plasse in Superbad. Hall wants to interface with Samantha like nobody’s business, and after a proposition from friends Cliff and Bryce (a young John Cusack with one of the best character names in film history), Hall is off to get his relationship online and collect the proof of his score. Meanwhile, dreamboat Jake Ryan sets his sights on Samantha after finding out how much she digs him. Hughes paints what can only be described as an honest caricature of the high school experience, complete with the theft of a parent’s classic car. So choice.