What movie was that...?

06 March 2010

Oscars 2010: Sunday Night Scamfest, End of Line

It's all out there, kids. Let's see what shakes loose tomorrow. The Academy has been trying to downplay the 10 film Best Picture category, claiming "we've done it before". Yeah, you did it in 1943, Academy. Don't act like it's only been a few years since it last happened, or that's it no big deal. Whole people have been born, lived and died in the span between this thing you have "done before". And after this year, I'm guessing it will be a while before you do it again.

Best Adapted Screenplay:
Deserves it: In the Loop- Good stuff all around.

Doesn’t deserve it: Up in the Air- Was it really just me? Am I the only one who found this film boring, generic and ultimately forgettable? I feel like Charlton Heston in Soilent Green.

Screwed: The Road! The Road, dammit!
Scot Z. Burns made a comic feast of the Kurt Eichenwald book, The Informant!, and just like Che, Soderbergh’s excellent film goes unnoticed.

Best Original Screenplay:
Deserves it: I guess it would have to be- wait a minute. Could it be? Finally! A Serious Man!

Doesn’t deserve it: No one. All noms in this category are very deserving. Congrats.

Screwed: Tough call, but I thought Moon deserved more love this year.

Best Film:
Deserves it: A Serious Man- I complain, but at the same time the Academy gets it right when it counts. How I love you, Kathryn Bigelow, but the Coens have made the best film in years, so good that it should be nominated again next year. Their secret: constantly trying to do new things. These auteurs have created a world, a point of view, and a film style uniquely theirs.

Deserves the silver: (Drum roll) The Hurt Locker (cymbal crash)- Kathryn Bigelow has proven once again just how a master of the filmic universe rolls. Badassly! Now all we need is Point Break 2, Ms. Bigelow. Pretty please?

Doesn’t deserve it: The Blind Side- WTF, Academy? I endured this 2 hour piece of shite and lived to tell the tale, but come on. Schlock meets schmaltz, and the pair run into tacky pap in the street, then they all link arms and skip down to the sugary sweet sentimentality shop. The only thing that could rival this in terms of absurdity is the nom for Up in the Air. What did I miss? Please tell me.

Screwed: Not really screwed, because the Academy has apparently nominated every other effing film that came out this year, but Cary Fukunaga’s immaculate Levi’s commercial featuring Walt Whitman’s voice deserves a crossover shout out. While we’re on the subject, why not nominate Ringan Ledwidge’s celebratory Cadbury commercial in the Best Cinematography category? These are true blue award caliber films, unfairly relegated to the realm of mere commercial.

So there we go, folks. Let’s see just how many of these predictions line up. I plan to fabricate my own personal trophies and send them to all deserving parties. So look for my foil and construction paper plaque, Mr. Waltz. And Misters Coen, you will each be receiving homemade snowglobes. Congrats.
P.S. Mr David LaChappelle, I am sending you a mix tape to express my true appreciation for RIZE.

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