What movie was that...?

28 April 2010

Birdemic

directed by James Nguyen

In Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner heard a mysterious voice say “If you build it, they will come.” Build it he did, and it was a great success. That same voice must have spoke to director James Nguyen as well, and it must have said something like “The more transitional shots you use, the better your film will be. And don’t worry about properly mixing your sound. No one actually listens to what’s going on in movies.” And so it went, the cautionary tale of an ecosystem gone wild, spawning winged hell creatures with appetites for human flesh. Wow, I just made this film seem way better than it actually was. It’s a monumentally terrible film, of course, and its rep is no understatement, but while other such epically atrocious films like The Room seem to work like perpetual motion machines that feed off their own devices, some films run out steam, leaving it to the audience to bridge the gap like a motivational speech given in the locker room during half time. The Burton Theatre crowd was extremely giving when it came to heckling Nguyen’s filmic catastrophe and nudging us along to its inexplicable end, but I could feel the film lagging, strangely, during its horror-esque second half. If the film were to be depicted as a pie, the “transitional shots” piece would look like Rosie O’Donnell’s wet dream. From the agonizing dialogue (I don’t think Alan Bagh managed to get out one clean, non garbled line of dialogue), to the utterly incompetent sound design, Birdemic will have you cringing for reasons completely foreign to your normal movie going experience. But Damien Carter’s musical sequence was like pure poetry.

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