directed by Che-Kirk Wong
Those of you idiots out there watching Crank and thinking “Man, I wish there were more movies like this!” need to glimpse the Chuck Berry version of filmic madness, known as The Big Hit, starring an up and coming Mark Wahlberg and featuring vacuous storytelling combined with renegade filmmaking. In fact, if Neveldine and Taylor were old enough to mutate this film in the moral vacuum that incubated Crank 2, then The Big Hit could have very well been the Slackers of its time. The film also rocks a totally ridiculous Lou Diamond Phillips and Antonio Sabato Jr., and Ben Ramsey (who is writing Luke Cage, btw) crafts an absurdly absurd tale of a pushover hit man who lets his easygoing demeanor get the best of him. Wahlberg shines in an early role that capitalizes on his Dirk Diggler naivety in Boogie Nights (one of his best performances, btw) and Phillips has way too much fun as the baddest, most sparkly shirt wearing guy (and this is way pre-Jersey Shore, folks) in the room. The Big Hit is one of those films that I nearly walked of when it first premiered, exclaiming to a friend just how fucking ridiculous the movie was, but now, after nearly a decade has passed, I can look back with nostalgia colored glasses to appreciate a film that was, for lack of a better term and in relation to such contemporaries as Crank and Crank 2, ahead of its time.