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28 January 2012

Oscars 2012

This year has brought with it some very fine films, but for some reason the geniuses of the dear old Academy of Stupid Decisions and Idiotic Oversight have chosen to ignore many of these films. After the shock of bewilderment began to melt away and my brain really started hurting, I decided it was time for the OMFBC awards to present much deserved justice. Before that, I will be presenting my opinion of the Academy Awards in the classic OMFBC form I have present in years past:

The form is as follows:
Deserves it- Of the nominees, the nominee that actually deserves that award (or just deserves it the most).
Doesn't deserve it- The nominee who, upon reading the name, causes me to spit out my beverage and curse, and not in a good way.
Screwed- A worthy performance/film/filmic component that was scandalously overlooked.
Special Notes- May be italicized as well.

Without further ado, I give you the Best Performance categories as well as Animated Feature.


Best Actor, Lead:
Deserves it- Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Mad Props, Mr. O
Doesn’t deserve it- Brad “What do you mean? Of course I’m acting!” Pitt, Moneyball: Your subdued turn in Moneyball has inexplicably captivated the Academy, but you didn’t fool me. All you did was blend your Tobey Maguire-esque blank stare with your Ocean’s 11 eating thing. Genius.
Dumbass alert- Also, if you were going to nominate Pitt for something, why not the film over which everyone is gaga, Tree of Life? Pitt was actually quite good in that film, despite the film falling apart on itself during the last 20 minutes. What are you, new?
Screwed- Dominic Cooper, The Devil’s Double. Cooper’s crazed layers were a wonder to behold in an otherwise steaming filmic pile.

Best Actress, Lead:
Deserves it- Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Need I say more?
Doesn’t deserve it- Michelle Williams: I love you very much, Ms. Williams, but this wasn’t your best. Which brings me to my next category…
Screwed- Michelle Williams, Meek’s Cutoff AND Blue Valentine: Off all 3 of her magnificent performances this year, Marilyn gets chosen? Either of these other roles would have been nigh impossible to beat.
Also, what about Saoirse Ronan's amazing turn in Joe Wright's ass kicker Hanna, another film inexplicably  absent from every deserving list?

Best Actor, Supporting:
Deserves it- Ugh, Christopher Plummer, I guess.
Doesn’t deserve it- Jonah Hill, Moneyball: Did I miss something? Moneyball was the watered down movie about the Oakland A’s record setting season, right? There wasn’t another, much better film that also came out this year bearing the same title?
Screwed- Albert Brooks, Drive: So, everyone raving about the quality of Refn’s magnificent film was, apparently, not a member of the Academy.

Best Actress, Supporting:
Deserves it- You know what? Out of sheer spite, I am casting my vote for Melissa McCarthy. Not only was she hilarious and hands down the best part of the film Bridesmaids, but these other noms are simply eh.
Doesn’t deserve it- Jessica Chastain, The Help: The Help was a canker clinging to Hollywood’s carcass this year.
Screwed- Charlotte Gainsbourg, Melancholia: You were truly sublime, Ms. G.

Best Animated Feature:
Deserves it- Rango: Rango is like the Michael Shannon (remember the 2009 Oscars?) of this category this year. Nothing else has come close, but sadly, its genius will leave empty handed.
Doesn’t deserve it- Kung Fu Panda 2: Come on, Academy! You effed up the Best Original Song category by not nominating Jonathan Keevil, and now this?.
Screwed- Tintin (shouted at the top of my lungs with Wrath of Khan-like vehemence)!

So there's the first installment of "OMFBC gets his hate on at the 2012 Academy Awards". For those of you who are interested, I am compiling the first ever OMFBC awards, complete with the usual suspects (categorywise) and maybe a few surprises. I will not be limiting my filmic nominees to simply those films released in NYC and LA sometime during 2011 (which is a bullshit rule that cost Ryan Gosling a much deserved nom for his amazing turn in the brilliant film, The Believer), but I would love to hear your thoughts and votes for the films you loved this year. I have not seen all the films, so I may end up including a list of films that are exempt due to my ignorance (tear/sniffle). I will be away on a work convention for a few days, but more will follow.

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