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02 February 2012

Oscars 2012: Lame Harder

Here is another installment of my gripey take on the Academy Award nominations this year. Feel free to chime in fellow movie lovers, film fanatics, hipster arthouse snobs and mainstream meat and potatoes cinephiles.

The form is as follows:
Deserves it- Of the nominees, the nominee that actually deserves that award (or just deserves it the most).
Doesn't deserve it- The nominee who, upon reading the name, causes me to spit out my beverage and curse, and not in a good way.
Screwed- A worthy performance/film/filmic component that was scandalously overlooked.
Special Notes- May be italicized as well.

Best Cinematography:
Deserves it- Emmanuel Lubezki, Tree of Life: I may have had some major problems with Terence Malick’s letdown of a magnum opus, but the dreamlike, haunting cinematography of Emmanuel Lubezki was not one of them. Gorgeous.
Doesn’t deserve it- Actually, this is a tough one. All nominated are titans of their craft and their efforts this year were amazing.
Screwed- Joel Hodge, Bellflower: The cinematography, in conjunction with Evan Glodell’s magic eye and Jonathan Keevil’s bare bones soundtrack, was like nothing I experienced this year.
AARRGGHHHH!- Seriously, Academy, how in the shit could you not nominate Keevil at all? You only nominated 2 songs this year. It’s like you kicked art in the crotch!


Best Doc:
Deserves it- Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky, Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory: This one earns it on the merit of its predecessors, its stalwart dedication to verity and the Thin Blue Line esque impact these films have had.
Doesn’t deserve it- Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner, Hell and Back Again: I had me some issues with Hell and Back Again.
Screwed- Let me see… RIZE! RIZE, dammit! I will carry that torch for all time, Mr David LaChappelle. Also, what about the pure passion of Senna, or even the fascinating glimpse into the complex inner workings of one Conan O’Brien in the form of Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop? For shame!

Best Editing:
Deserves it- Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist. Top notch, you two. Silent (ish) films have a magic all their own, and editing plays a huge part in that.
Doesn’t deserve it- Christopher Tellefsen, Moneyball: What the hell have I missed? The editing was something I disliked the most about this film, even more that Brad Pitt’s blank stare slash pseudo mad face face.
Screwed- Team Coatwolf, Bellflower: Team Coatwolf edited Bellflower into the wild nightmare that it was, and it is Team Coatwolf who should be hijacking many categories for which they received no recognition. You better hope the apocalypse doesn’t happen soon Academy, because Evan Glodell, Joel Hodge, Tyler Dawson, Jonathan Keevil and the rest of Team Coatwolf will be showing up at your houses with a flame spitting wasteland cruiser. And they will be eating you first.


More to come...

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