What movie was that...?

19 February 2013

Chuck Hank and the San Diego Twins

being directed (as we effing speak!) by Jonathan Keevil

Whatever side of the Baauer/Azealia Banks feud you find yourself, we can all agree on one thing: the newest endeavor in the works by the Coatwolf crew is going to be a batshit delight. As for the aforementioned feud, I am on the “couldn’t give less of a shit” side (though I still kind of want to make a Harlem Shake video of my own), but Jonathan Keevil (who scored Coatwolf’s Bellflower) has me hook line and sinker with his madcap throwback action flick called Chuck Hank and the San Diego Twins. Some of the movie has already been filmed, and recently Coatwolf made a video meant to kick off a kind of telethon from hell, to fund the remaining chunks of Chuck Hank that needed proper bread to make them truly righteous (the massive action set pieces). The film’s premise is tried and tested, an Oldtown turf war stretching back generations is threaten when the sister of the San Diego Twins is kidnapped by an evil organization called The Syndicate. Together with their friend Chuck Hank, the San Diego Twins decide it’s time to finish it once and for all, with an all out atomic rumble. Think Double Dragon meets Sam Peckinpah by way of a cranked up fever dream. Judging from the taste footage found in the crowd funding video, I’m anticipating a shit ton of neon, chain weapons, Mohawks and Road Warrioresque getups. And copious, copious amounts of nuclear grade ass kickery that threatens to singe off your facial hairs. I kicked in 500 bones to help the Coatwolf cause, and I am glad to say that as of now, Coatwolf has reached their goal! They are still taking donations, and the more dough they can muster, the more out of control awesome Chuck Hank is going to be. The Coatwolf collective is an extremely exciting and talented group of filmmakers dedicated to rebel filmmaking much like Monte Hellman and George A Romero were in the indie film heyday, and I am stoked to follow them every step of the way. If anyone is interested, here is an interview I had the good fortune of being able to do with OG Coatwolf genius, Evan Glodell. 


Film lovers, we have to work together to ensure that wild dreams like Chuck Hank can still come true, that magic can be made outside of the dreaded Hollywood system. Kick in if you're into it. If there's one group of wild ones who won't let you down, it's the Coatwolf cats. 

To wet your whistle, watch the crowd funding video for Chuck Hank and the San Diego Twins (below).

13 February 2013

Bullet to the Head

directed by Walter Hill

Of course I shelled out hard earned bread to see this movie. Just wanted to go on record with that...

This resurgence of throwback style vehicles for aging action stars has seen its ups and downs over the past half decade, beginning with such enjoyable schlock as The Expendables, even presaged by such ludicrous sequels as Rambo. The charm (if you can call it that) of these films is the wink at the camera awareness that brings you in on the joke. The Expendables is exactly as bad as you think it will be, which is precisely what makes it so awesome. Add a talented piss and vinegared director who also gets the joke to the mix, and you should end up with a thoroughly delicious cinematic jambalaya. Following that line, I was prepared for Walter Hill’s Bullet to the Head to be a delightful shit show, but even with my expectations in the sub-basement I was surprised at how inept I found the storytelling. Sylvester Stallone seems to be the grand architect behind said filmic resurgence (as he is featured in nearly all of these movies), from Rambo to The Expendables (and even the credibly sincere Rocky Balboa), but as he mumbles his way through the back alleys and seedy corners of Louisiana, I found myself surprised that Sly’s trademark mushmouthed garble wasn’t the least intelligible element of this disaster. Sun Kang’s Detective Taylor Kwon character could have just as effectively been played by a Speak & Spell duct taped to a rolling chair, and Walter Hill’s whiskey breathed brawler style of direction falls flat throughout much of the film, unless a scene involves a bullet entering someone’s skull (which happens often). I will give a boat load of credit to Jason Momoa for refusing to allow any semblance of faux seriousness to penetrate his crazed warrior super muscle character, Keegan. Momoa and Christian Slater seemed to be the only 2 who got the memo about what exactly Bullet to the Head was supposed to be, and I expected a hell of a lot more from screenwriter Alessandro Camon (who co-wrote the spectacular film The Messenger). If watching potato skinned old action relics ply their trade on screen is your thing, you would do much better to check out the newest Schwarzenegger movie, The Last Stand (directed by Jee-woo Kim). But in all seriousness, if you want to see an actual good version of a film like this (a former action star trying like hell to avoid fading away), pretty please go watch JCVD, starring the Muscles from Brussels as himself. A fantastic film, that.